Utah Man Shoots Neighbor Who ‘Telepathically’ Raped His Wife: Eddie Van Halen Unable To Help

Yep.  I couldn’t have made this up on my most creative day.  Michael Selleneit shot his neighbor, while he was doing yard work because that neighbor repeatedly telepathically raped his wife and mentally threatened him.  Luckily his victim, Tony Pierce, survived.

Michael Selleneit’s wife, Melony Toone Selleneit, is charged with illegally purchasing the gun and then urging her husband to shoot Mr. Pierce for his repeated attempts of invading her mind.   Obviously this couple fed into each others delusions.

His attorney is vying for his client’s placement in a mental hospital which certainly seems to be fitting .  Apparently Mr. Selleneit’s imagination conjures advice from Eddie Van Halen who helps him with his problems. Obviously, Van Halen, did not rightly guide Selleneit on this occasion.  One would hope that if I became mentally deficient, that my subconscious would send me someone a little more capable than Mr. Van Halen.





In Relationship News: Man Kills His Wife And Slow Cooks Her

David Viens admitted to killing his wife in 2009.  He says in a police interview that he bound and gagged his wife after an argument in which he accused her of stealing money from their restraunt.  After he came back in four hours, she was dead.  He says he panicked and did what any husband would do, who was a chef…who had just killed his wife…HE SLOW COOKED HER.   He slow cooked her body in some type of barrel for four days.  He then disposed of Dawn’s liquified remains as though it was just some kitchen waste.  In the police investigation, he said he took an Ambien before their confrontation.  Is his defense that the ambien fueled his crime spree?  After all, he is pleading NOT GUILTY.

Also of note is that when Viens found out that he was being investigated for his wife’s murder, he jumped off of a cliff.  Or maybe it was a botched suicide attempt?  At any rate, David Viens is attending his proceedings in a wheelchair  and will not take the stand (no pun intended).  (Shocker)





Moms, Chains, And Stab Wounds

It’s the kind of story that nobody wants to hear but we see as becoming all the more common these days.  Maisa Alvarez is accused of tying her seven year old’s hands together, then stabbing him repeatedly in the chest.

The child is in stable condition at an Orlando hospital and nobody can determine what prompted the mother to such a horrific act as she had no criminal history or no run-ins with CPS.  But I can see a psychiatrist and four padded walls in her future.




Man Kills Uncle Over Semantics: ‘Pork Chops’ or ‘Pork Steaks’


We can all get into some heated discussions at times but this is a little too serious. John Cunningham thought they were cooking ‘pork steaks’. His uncle Lessie Lowe thought they were cooking ‘pork chops’.  I would like to think that most of us would let this argument go and move on. But this discrepancy angered Cunningham so much that he got his shotgun out and killed his Uncle.

Now it turns out the Cunningham was right, they were about to cook ‘pork steaks’,  However his victory was tempered by the fact he was being charged with murder and he killed the person he was arguing with.  No bragging writes here.




In Relationship News: Don’t Waterboard Your Girlfriend

Should we say that Major Harris has some insecurity issues?   I think it’s safe to say that.  After all, Major Harris was just convicted of what essentially amounts to domestic terrorism.  He was upset at his girlfriend in that she would not give him here whereabouts for a given day.  He was so upset that he began to choke the victim and poor root beer over her mouth so she could not breathe (ie water boarding). Then Mr. Harris took it a step further and pointed the barrel of a gun in her eye.  Obviously she thought that she was going to die.

He then forced the victim and her children to ride with him at gunpoint.  Eventually she found a way to flag down police and he was arrested.

When Harris was sentenced to life in prison for his actions he said he forgave his victim. How kind of him…




In Parenting News: Mom And Dad Perform Exorcism In Walmart Parking Lot


Do you think your children are possessed by demons?   If you did, where would be the most logical place to take them for the spiritual help they so desperately need?  You got it. Walmart ‘s parking lot is the place.  At least that’s where Adolfo and Deborah Gomez thought would be the best place to bind them with electrical tape and cover two of their children`s eyes with some sort of blindfold.

Apparently the couple thought there were demons in their house and were afflicting the children.  The demons could also apparently be found outside the family SUV in the Walmart parking lot which prompted the family to cover the windows of the vehicle.  Accompanying this idea  of `demons’ is the fact the father is known in his community as being a strict disciplinarian.  The mother denies knowing what her husband was up to even though her Walmart shopping list included the tape, a baseball bat, and some tarp.  Somehow I doubt the bat was going to be used in some slow pitch softball.

This story alone gives credence that there needs to be licensing associated with being parents.





Family Matters: A Relationship Not Worth Keeping

Lies beget more lies.  If you lie to your spouse over and over it really devalues the relationship as a whole.  If you can’t trust the person you exchange vows with, then who can you trust?

Such is the dilemma of one Dean Holmes.  He had told one too many lies to his wife Kristi.  Understand that Kristi had already left her husband once because he spent money above his means.   He promised to mend his fiscally irresponsible ways, but in the end he could not.   But he did not share that information with his wife.  He owed back taxes and was being sued by various clients (he runs a painting business) for unfinished work.

So out of fear of his wife finding out about his lies and failures, he shot her four times while she slept.  If he could not have her, nobody would.  Perhaps he could not live with her disappointment or disapproval.  But alas what woud he do with their daughter who was asleep in the house?  Well she was actually having a friend sleep over.   He woke them up and dropped the friend off at her house.  He then proceeded to take the next rational step.  He shot  and killed his daughter in the back seat of his car so she would not have to live through the pain of losing her mother.

He drove around the area with the body of his daughter and had some breakfast at McDonalds.  He then went back to his home and placed the body of the daughter in the same bed as the mother and tried to conceal the crime.  He soon realized that this was not going to work and turned himself over to the authorities only so he can then plea not guilty.

Really?  I guess the reality set in as to what happens to murderers.